The Heat of June

09 June 2007

Wow.. it's June already.. it's been awhile I guess... but I'm back. What can I say, these past few days have kept me busy with school stuff... or NOT!

After Summer passed and I realized I once again got a 2.0 grade from an annoying instructor, I decided to shift to a different course. Alright, maybe I'm bitter at that instructor and some others but my decision wasn't entirely on what they did. Or maybe yes. I expected so much from them... from the faculty, from the school, even from the classmates and other things... and it ended up with me being frustrated. Knowing there's nothing I can do I thought shifting would be the best option, I'll have quality education and I'll get a grade that I truly deserved. I turned my attention to Engineering. Yep, heard that right! So after a few days and after persuading some classmates of mine to do the same, I was on my way. I prepared clearance, grades, papers for shifters, etc. After waiting a day and a half at school to get my subjects evaluated, I realized I have 23 units to take. And almost half of it, I thought was supposed to be credited but they didn't. Some are a few units short and some description doesn't EXACTLY match. So I have to retake every single math, physics and physical education. Right at the very basic. Gah! Not to mention I'm back to first year! *sigh* Nothing wrong there. Except...

I decided to put up my own business at the same time. Like.. RIGHT NOW. So in my head, I can do this both right? Since I'm going to be an irregular student since I'm a shifter... I can juggle my studies AND business just like that. Easy for me to formulate. But realization hits me. I'm putting my very first business venture and I have to be there 100%. I know it's crazy..I AM CRAZY... who do I expect to manage it for me when I'm not there? well.. no one. silly me. Don't ask me now... I guess I wasn't thinking or maybe I'm high when I didn't consider it. Who will watch over my business when I'm at school, wrecking nerves on math? Oh sure, I'll just hire an employee. I'm like giving a complete stranger my pot of gold. I'm gonna start a business when I can't even focus entirely on it. GAH! however you look at it, it's suicide! I guess it was safer if I just dug a hole and bury my money on it.

now comes the confusion....I have to choose: should I continue my studies or pursue my business? Heck, I guess this is how it feels when you're in love with two guys and you can't let go of either one of them. hahaha! XD goshhh... my head hurts just thinking about it.. plus the sleepless nights and countless mornings when I just wake up and ask myself... which one, which one?

After considering everything.. and only getting a bigger headache...

I woke up one day and thought of.... QUITTING school. yes... goodbye engineering. As much as I hate it... considering all the times I've dreamed of walking towards the stage at my graduation day.... being called engineer five years from now.... joining the university's dance company... doing my OJT in Japan... designing AI gadgets.... and a lot others... I have to let go of it.

I have been dreaming of having my own business.... and it was waaaaaayy back before I decided to pursue a Bachelor's Degree. I want to prove that I am serious on this new venture and I want to manage it full-time.

I still want to finish my studies... in the future.

But this time... I'll concentrate first on my computer shop. Right now, I'm currently busy with business stuff papers and permits whatever. Thank Goodness my bestfriend is always there to help me. I haven't told my family yet... just my Mom. She's been supportive so far... and I hope it stays that way.

someone please tell me I'm doing this right....